Sarah Versus Modern Warfare
by Ethan Michaels
Summary: Chuck convinces Sarah to play Call of Duty with him, but things quickly get out of hand. Rated M for language. One shot.


_Author's Notes: I've been wanting to try a short little one-shot for a while now. But I couldn't with good conscience while Chuck Versus the Teacher remains unfinished. That changed today. I still feel guilt, but I pretty much wrote a complete Chapter 6 for it. However, I have decided to rewrite it in a new fashion. Rather than constant scene switching, I'm trying one "scene" for the chapter. If it's a fail, I'll polish up my "scene switching" or episodic one and publish that… X_x_

_Anyhow, I don't know if this idea has been written out before or not. This is a solo writing…nobody beta'd it or anything. I just wanted a quick, easy, fun writing. Hope ya'll enjoy it as much I enjoyed writing it. It has a rather mellow start, typical of my usual writing, and then descends into chaos._

_Reviews are wonderful. Don't read this if you find profanity offensive. You will be offended._

_Disclaimer: I didn't originally plan on a swearing, cursing, slightly crazy Sarah. It just sort of happened. I didn't intend for her character to shift more toward Wepdiggy's "Adorable Psycho" Sarah. Any resemblance is purely coincidental. No brunettes die._

_Disclaimer (edit): Writing the above gave me ideas. I'm spoofing it up. I maintain my stance of coincidence regarding "Adorable Psycho." Oh yeah, and I've never played Call of Duty on anything but PC. I am, however, familiar with PlayStation controllers, so that's what I went with. The controls are not likely correct._

* * *

Sarah stood outside the door she'd come to know so well and sighed.

The last couple weeks had been…interesting. After Beckman had reactivated Operation Bartowski, she'd been forced to confront her feelings for Chuck. Despite being emotionally crushed in Prague and flying back to Los Angeles alone, she found that her feelings for him hadn't disappeared.

And based on the security feed Carina had given her, Chuck's feelings were still there too.

So naturally, here she was, standing at Chuck's door on their first "date" as "friends." Despite her intent to keep things simple and steady, her proposal only seemed to make things more complicated.

She knocked gently on the door, and hoped Morgan wouldn't be the one to answer. Despite her reluctant approval of Chuck's bearded friend, the man still couldn't quite control where his eyes started at.

The door swung open, and Chuck stood behind it smiling. "Right on time," he greeted cheerily.

Sarah noted his eyes started at her face, and then worked their way down. She wasn't sure what to think of it.

"Of course," she replied with a grin. She walked casually into Chuck's apartment, despite her mounting unease. "I see you've gone all out furnishing your place," she said, looking around at the emptiness around her. There were a couple chairs, a TV, and a kitchen table- and a whole a lot of posters.

Chuck gritted his teeth, and smirked. "Thirteen dollars an hour at its best." He closed the door quietly and turned to her. "New shirt?"

"Yes, nice catch." She looked down at her form fitting blue tank top and adjusted it. "Like it?" she dared to ask.

"You know I love you in blue." Sarah flushed slightly. She did indeed know.

"So what's the plan?" Sarah asked inquiringly. "Board game? Dinner? Movie?"

"All of them," Chuck said cryptically, his voice rich with pride. "Well, sort of."

Sarah raised an eyebrow as Chuck wandered to the kitchen and held up a small rectangular box. "What is that…?" she asked somewhat suspiciously.

"This…" Chuck said, still holding the game up reverently, "is Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2."

"A video game," Sarah said flatly. Chuck was shaking his head before she finished.

"Not just any video game," he corrected. "It is the _most _highly anticipated video game of the year. And my favorite, no less."

Sarah's face contorted into an amused smirk. "Fine," she finally said. "Just for a little bit though."

Chuck practically skipped across the room to the TV and hastily began readying the game. Sarah followed him to the TV with a bit less enthusiasm.

"Go ahead and take a seat," Chuck said, motioning to the chair.

Sarah looked doubtfully at the chair in front of her. It was a quirky low "V" shaped chair that pivoted like a rocking chair. It appeared to be… Sarah couldn't think of the word. Technological would have worked, but scary was her foremost thought.

She approached the chair cautiously, slowly crouching down to its low height, and carefully taking a seat on the end. It immediately pivoted forward, nearly tossing her to the floor, but she caught herself with an outstretched arm.

Chuck remained busy at the TV, playing with cables and discs and other things that Sarah knew little of. She was thankful.

She eased herself into the chair, and soon found her balance on it. Unfortunately, the price of balance was high, and Sarah felt completely ridiculous. Her legs were spread wide on the chair, with her knees locked and her feet planted on each side of the vicious chair. It was very awkward.

Chuck flipped the TV on and turned around, two controllers in hand. "Wow," Chuck managed, after seeing Sarah.

"Shut up."

Chuck smiled knowingly and took his respective seat beside her. He handed her a controller. "Until you get the hang of it, we'll just play one on one," he explained as he began going through a variety of menus on the television.

"Okay," Sarah said simply, toying with the joystick and the various buttons on her controller.

"Alright, it's all set up. You just have to pick your class now."

"What does that mean?" Sarah asked.

Chuck took a moment to think of simple terms she might understand. "For now, it means pick the gun you'd like to use. I'll explain more later."

Sarah spent a brief moment looking at each, before finally highlighting "Heavy Gunner."

"What do I press to pick this one?" she questioned.

"Press X." Chuck smiled as Sarah watched the screen intently. He was glad she was at least giving the game an honest try. The map finished loading and each of them had appeared in opposite corners of the game.

"Alright, I'll go easy on you until you're used to it. Play around a bit, but watch out for me."

Sarah stifled a laugh. "When don't I watch out for you?" she asked, her gaze focused on the screen.

"I didn't mean as a handler," Chuck laughed.

"Me either." Chuck's mirth ended abruptly.

Sarah ran her soldier around aimlessly, looking around the video game world. After a couple minutes of exploring she soon had another question.

"How do I shoot?"

"It's just X if you want to shoot normally. Press R1 if you want to aim down the sights, and then it's X to shoot that way too," Chuck explained.

Sarah looked around on her controller. "Where's R1?"

"Back of the controller," Chuck said. "It's by your right trigger finger. It's the little button."

Sarah continued inspecting her controller, discovering even more buttons. Her attention shifted back to the TV, however, at the sound of a single gunshot.

Her screen turned red and her soldier fell to the ground dead. She whipped her head toward Chuck and shot him a scornful glare.

"Sorry," he said with his typical geeky grin.

Sarah's soldier reappeared, and she was determined not to be caught off guard again. She began playing with all the buttons and learning what they did. Chuck stole a peek at her screen on the bottom of the TV, watching her familiarize herself with the buttons.

"My guy has a pistol too," Sarah said triumphantly, as her character now ran around looking down the sights of an M9. She fired several rounds into a nearby car.

"So does mine," Chuck retorted. "And mine's better."

"Better?"

"I have a .44 Magnum," Chuck boasted.

Sarah made an odd noise that Chuck was unfamiliar with. He looked at her hesitantly, and her face was a mask of concentration. It almost sounded like a growl.

And then there were two quick gunshots and his character crumpled.

"What the…" Chuck started. He watched Sarah run by his character's corpse.

"I was in the bushes."

"No more Mr. Nice Guy," Chuck snarled.

"Bring it," Sarah taunted.

_Two hours later._

"What the hell!?" Chuck blurted, for perhaps the tenth time that night. "There is no way you can throw a grenade that well!"

"I should've cooked it longer," Sarah commented, almost sadly.

"It killed me just fine as it was!"

"It could've killed you better."

Chuck threw his arms up in the air. "Fine, you win," he admitted. "But, I'm just an average player. Some of the people online…" He let the comment linger as he stood up.

"Are they good?" Sarah asked, intrigued.

"Beyond good," Chuck answered. "It's like…they don't do anything except play the game all day. It's kind of scary." Chuck wandered to the kitchen, and searched the fridge. "Are you hungry?"

"Not really," she answered dazedly. She casually searched through menus after Chuck surrendered. "I could use a drink though."

"Grape soda?"

Sarah's face wrinkled in disgust. "Any wine?" she asked hopefully.

"Just red," Chuck answered. "Morgan uses the white for cooking."

"That's fine."

Chuck soon emerged from the kitchen with two glasses of red wine and a keg of Cheese Puffs. "I see you found your way online," Chuck commented, placing a glass by Sarah.

"Yeah." If Sarah had noticed the glass of wine by her, she made no sign of it.

Chuck was glad to see that Sarah was having fun. He'd expected her to get bored after ten minutes, but she'd clearly gotten really into it.

"You know," Chuck began, "if you want, I can get you a headset so you can talk to the people online. And hear them."

Sarah turned and looked at Chuck for the first time in over an hour. "Really?" she asked. "That'd be great…we could actually coordinate our defenses then…"

"I'll go get it," Chuck said, disappearing to his bedroom.

Sarah exited a match and quickly opened up her preferences. Sarah didn't want to admit it, but she was having a blast. She didn't know if that made her a geek or not. But, at this point, she didn't really care. She was in love with a geek; she might as well have geeky tendencies too.

"Nerd," she corrected quietly to herself. Nerd was the correct term.

She named her profile 'Yogurtgirl27' and adjusted the headset settings. She looked around expectantly for Chuck, and with no sign of him, she took a large swig of wine from her glass.

Chuck returned with the headset a minute later. "You might have to adjust it a bit," Chuck advised her after handing her the headset. "My head might be a bit bigger than yours."

Sarah smiled and slid it up over her head. She took another quick drink of wine and extended the microphone to her lips. "Thank you, Chuck."

"You're welcome," he said brightly. "It's not so bad being friends with me, is it?"

Sarah's face beamed and she swatted Chuck playfully. "Are you going to play too? We can be on a team."

"Nah, I'll just watch," Chuck insisted. "More wine?"

Sarah waited patiently for the map to load. "Yes, please."

_Three hours later._

"I'm not fucking hacking, you little shit," Sarah screamed into the microphone as she continued to slaughter random people online.

"Sarah…" Chuck pleaded beside her, "Please calm down. He's only twelve."

"I don't care," Sarah said angrily. "He started it."

Chuck stared at the blonde CIA agent with wonder. She'd polished off two bottles of wine and was working on her third. It was becoming increasingly clear that Sarah's emotions became more…pronounced…while intoxicated.

"Sugarbear17," Sarah called, "Hold Bravo until I recapture Alpha."

"Sugarbear…" Chuck laughed. "We should tell Casey that somebody…"

"You know he hates that name."

"Yeah, but it's funny," Chuck smiled.

Sarah lifted the bottle of red wine to her lips and took another large gulp. She licked her lips and set the bottle down beside her.

"Good job, Sugarbear," Sarah congratulated her teammate. "Follow me to Charlie." Yogurtgirl27 sprinted across the war-torn city with Sugarbear on her heels. She rounded a corner and was immediately blown up. Sugarbear's fate was no different.

"What the fuck, BrunetteBeth69?" Sarah raged. "Lose the noob tube or I'll shove it up your ass."

Chuck dropped his head into his hands and shook his head.

Sarah's eyes widened with sudden and unbridled fury. "I'd like to see you fucking try brunette whore! My address is…"

"Sarah!" Chuck shouted, interrupting her. "Relax!"

"Chuck!" Sarah said exasperatedly. "You don't even know what she just said to me…"

"Ignore her," Chuck begged. "She's just jealous that you're better."

Sarah seemed to calm a bit at that statement, and went back to her game.

_Two hours later._

"I'm coming for you Netteslut010."

Chuck had fallen asleep on the floor beside her about an hour ago. She didn't know how he slept through her yelling; perhaps he'd built up a tolerance to it. At this point though, she didn't really care. Netteslut010 was asking for it.

"Don't _fucking_ mess with me, Netteslut! I may be blonde, but I'm a fucking CIA agent and I will fucking end you!"

Sarah had stopped caring about the game after her third Predator missile connected with Netteslut. Now her energies were focused entirely on the brunette on the other side of the country.

"I am NOT lonely," Sarah retorted unconvincingly. "I have a boyfriend…"

Netteslut010's words hit too close to home. Sarah knew she'd lost ground in her war of words.

"He's sleeping…" she protested, her voice breaking with every syllable.

"Fuck you," she said finally, before tearing off the headset and throwing it across the room. She looked around sadly, and once again picked up her bottle of wine. She took a giant swig and brought it down to the floor with an empty clink.

She pushed herself forward, trying to stand up from the chair. It ended up throwing her forward, and she crashed to the floor unceremoniously. She picked herself up slowly, and her gaze fell to Chuck.

"Fuck it," she said simply, as she walked to Chuck's sleeping form and pulled him up.

"Wha…?" Chuck asked groggily, eyeing Sarah suspiciously. "What's wrong?"

"The friend thing is bullshit, and we both know it. Come plow me."

_Next door…_

Sugarbear17's Intervention scoped out Netteslut010's head and cleanly removed it. "That's twenty five kills," he grunted victoriously. "It's over."

John Casey smiled as he activated his tactical nuke. "Bye Netteslut010," he said to himself.

* * *

_Author's Notes: Any resemblance to __Wepdiggy__'s "Adorable Psycho" Sarah is purely coincidental. I'm sticking to my story._

_I really didn't intend for my little story to go to hell. It just happened. And I didn't care enough to stop it. It's one shot bliss, and I really don't care. It's 1:19am. I'm dead now._


End file.
